The Blarney Bear

Although we’re still in the middle of the school holidays, I’d like to talk about the dread that comes along with the return to school. Most people feel reluctant to go back to school after the holidays but for some, the reluctance can be so overwhelming and so strong that they’ll do anything they can not to have to go to school. This is something I experienced during my schooldays (and still do to a certain extent) – at the time it was called “school phobia” but now it’s referred to as “school refusal”. Teacher = Authority? I first remember starting to feel anxious about going to school when I was about 7 or 8 years old. As far as I can remember, I never had a problem going to school before then and I’m still not completely sure what triggered it at that point. The teacher I had that year was the strictest of the teachers that I’d had so far and because of that, I found her a little scary. My theory is that this is when I first started to see teachers as authority figures...

I've been lucky in that, throughout my battle with anxiety and OCD, I've been able to hold down a full time job. For some people, that just isn't possible and I don't think that's something that anyone should be ashamed or embarrassed about. Equally, taking some time off can be beneficial for some. However, I find work to be a good distraction. It gives me something else to focus on and stop me dwelling on negative thoughts and worries. That's not to say though that it's not hard. I frequently feel anxious at work that something I've said or done has offended someone or that everyone is going to realise that I really am as crap as I think I am and they'll fire me. I also sometimes get a feeling of being trapped and like I can't ever leave the office - I frequently have to go outside just to remind myself that I can step outside whenever I like. There have been times when I've sat in the car park in the morning trying to convince myself to go ...